Here's a great article from the Redwood Gazette about three local girls who have all had stillborn babies this summer, I can't even begin to imagine how they feel-- two of those were almost full-term babies.
Reading their story brings back memories to the summer of 2010... We started our first round of Clomid in May and found out in June I was pregnant. I was ecstatic, something we had been waiting for so long! I needed to have my HCG levels checked and then re-checked again in 48 hours to make sure that they were doubling. If they double, it shows that it's more likely a viable pregnancy. Well, mine didn't double. I had them repeated many times in the next few weeks as well as a few ultrasounds that showed their was no baby in my uterus, which meant it could only be in the tubes. I remember, I was devastated I finally was able to get pregnant and then the baby was in the wrong place. I remember sitting in the doctor's office, bawling my eyes out as he's telling me, he's pretty confident it was in my tubes and that I was able to get pregnant this go around and so it's going to happen again. As, I thought easy for you to say!
The week after the 4th of July, I went in for a d-n-c, where Dr. Gildner scrapped my uterus to make sure their was nothing and then I needed to have a shot of methotrexate, to get rid of the "tissue" in my tubes. It took the next two months for my HCG levels to return to 0, which meant a weekly or at first bi-weekly trip to the doctor for lab work. No wonder I know the lab techs so well!
And just when I thought we could start back on Clomid for a baby, Dr. Gildner wanted me to have a hysteroscopy done to make sure my tubes were clear. That was probably the WORST procedure to ever have done, but all results came back clear and then in December, we were FINALLY able to start again and we ended up with Brooklyn:) I think she was well worth every heartache!
We have started back on Clomid again, not knowing if/how things will work out, but we are hoping for the best! Dr. Gildner allows you to have 3 rounds before he refers you to a specialist. I will probably have more posts about this in the future!
To end this post... do I ever wonder what life would be like today, if that ectopic pregnancy would have been viable, sure I do. I know a girl that had a due-date that was around mine (Feb 17th), so when I look at her little boy, I think I could have one the same age. BUT, then I know I would't have my smiley little Brooklyn... and I couldn't not have her. So I guess things happen for a reason, why, we will never know!
My sister has also taken Clomid. When I was pregnant with Maddi she was pregnat also. I was due in March and she was due in June. That was her 1st of 3 miscarriges. It was really hard for me and I am sure for her as well because we were going threw our 1st pregnancies together. I remember her first one as if it were yesterday and it still sometimes makes me cry. We had just gotten Jade and Abby full time the night before it happen. We always talked that maybe her baby would be born on my birthday, June 1st. I often wonder sometimes what she thinks when she spends time with Maddi or I tell her things Maddi did. She was always just kind of told she had bad luck in the baby department. Well what women wants to hear that from their doctor. Mason was a surprise for me and I had a hard time telling my sister. I couldn't figure out why he was giving me another baby so soon after Maddi when my sister had nothing. But of course mother's know it all and mine told me she was very sure my sister would get pregnant soon and we'd finally be able to enjoy our pregnancies together. Sure enough it worked out that way. Now she is FINALLY pregnant again since having her daughter and it started out rocky. They actually told her she had lost the baby (on a Friday) so they sent her home for the weekend and told her she would miscarry over the weekend most likely. We cried for that baby. we cried for my sister. But thankfully God changed his plans and when she went back that next week for anther ultrasound there was a heartbeat! So her little miracle should be arriving early December. We don't always understand why God does the things he does but there is always good reason. Your daughter Brooklyn is adorable and she is so lucky to have you as her Mommy!
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